Photographing Neurodivergent Kids: A Candid Conversation with Meredith
Photographer Meredith has spent years capturing the spirit and individuality of children, including those with ADHD, autism, and other neurodivergences. In this unfiltered Q&A, she shares her experience, her mindset, and what she’s learned about seeing kids for exactly who they are.
Q: Can you tell us a bit about yourself and what drew you to photography, especially working with kids who have ADHD or autism?
Meredith:
I was doing photography in L.A.—this was back in the film days—and I was just trying to keep my sanity. Some friends in Chicago, who I used to photograph, told me, “Just keep going, bring your camera.”
So I did. I went to a friend’s house where a bunch of them had gathered with their babies and toddlers. I found myself just totally drawn to the kids.
I don’t know why—it was weird because I knew I didn’t want to be a mom myself, chasing babies around with wipes and bags of Cheerios—but I loved being around them. I loved photographing them because it’s the beginning of their lives. They grow and change so fast. I wanted to give them proof of how adorable and curious and silly and messy and real they were.
Q: Do you remember your first session with a child who was neurodivergent?
Meredith:
I do, actually. Back then, “neurodivergent” wasn’t really a term anyone used. It’s just in the past 10 years or so that people have started recognizing it more.
I got a call from a mom who said, “I love your work, but my son is autistic and I don’t know if you’d even be interested.” And I just stopped her and said, “Wait, what? Of course I’m interested. Why wouldn’t you and your son deserve beautiful photos just like anyone else?”
She was worried—she said, “Well, he might be in a mood or reactive.” And I said, “Just like any other kid.” I told her, “Here’s what we’ll do: I’ll come over, and if he’s not in the mood to receive me, I’ll come back. I’ll keep coming back until he is.”
I went to their house with a totally open heart, and he and I just clicked. He had this little menagerie of animal figurines, and we talked about animals forever. He was seven then—now he’s seventeen and into musical theater and singing and acting. I still photograph him and his family. I’m just so proud of him.
Q: What are some of the biggest challenges kids with ADHD or autism face during a photo shoot?
Meredith:
I’ve photographed kids with Asperger’s too—though all the diagnoses definitions keep evolving. One family, visiting from Singapore, said, “He has Asperger’s and may not want to look you in the eye.”
I said, “That’s totally fine. Whatever he feels most comfortable doing is excellent.” I’m super flexible. I’ve a background in improv, so I approach things like: bring me anything, and I’ll say “yes, and…”
With that boy, we went to the park and he loved spinning. He was on one of those twisty swings, winding it up and letting it spin. He just loved it. I was watching, thinking, “Oh my God, I would be so sick.” But he was so in his element. He looked at me through the camera, we totally connected, and played, and had a great time, and it was beautiful.
Q: Was that child autistic or had ADHD? Or both?
Meredith:
Yeah, that was autism. But honestly, more and more, we’re seeing it’s all kind of a mix. I have both—ADHD and a little autism—what they call AuDHD. I’ve heard it described like a mixing board where each slider could be its own thing—light sensitivity, rejection sensitivity, sound issues, texture stuff. Everyone has their own “special mix.” ADHD might be turned up high, OCD low. Some have a little autism, some none.
We’re learning there’s so much overlap. It’s why I like using the word “neurodivergent”—it’s a more inclusive way to describe the scope of the spectrum.
Q: Do you do anything different to prepare for a session with a neurodivergent child?
Meredith:
Nope. I show up with an open heart and no preconceived notions.
I respond to what’s in front of me. That’s where my improv background really helps—I can pivot in a millisecond. Some kids are super sensitive to lights or noise, or don’t like transitions. I just stay present.
Once I was photographing at a school for autistic kids, and someone started singing “Happy Birthday.” One little boy just started crying—the song was too droney and overwhelming. So yeah, I learned fast to avoid certain things. But I always find a way to connect. I don’t know how—it just happens.
Q: What would you say to a parent who’s nervous that their child won’t cooperate or “perform”?
Meredith:
I never want a kid to perform. I want them to be exactly who they are.
One of my goals is to give kids proof—real, physical proof—that they were seen and loved and appreciated exactly as they are. Not who their parents wish they were. Their authentic, silly, curious, honest, amazing unique selves.
I tell parents: let kids be kids. Don't stress about perfect behavior, perfect hair, or perfect smiles. Honestly? Perfect is boring. None of us are perfect and that’s what makes us amazing and interesting. The best photos come when everyone’s ‘just being themselves’ without self-consciousness or fear of judgement, and enjoying and being present the moment.
Q: Can you share an example of something unexpected that ended up being a really special moment?
Meredith:
Yeah—kids fall sometimes. They’ll scrape their knees and cry. Parents will initially say, “Don’t photograph this!” And I’m like, “Oh, we HAVE to photograph it.”
Because that photo might be the one where you witness a parent comforting their child. That tear running down the kid’s cheek while being held tight and looked after —that’s real. That’s love. That’s connection. It’s real and tender and something you’ll want to remember.
Of course you don’t have to choose that photo in your Reveal, but I want you to have the choice.
Q: Is there anything parents can do—or not do—to support the experience?
Meredith:
It’s great if your kid can get a good night’s sleep the night before, isn’t hungry or stressed. But, most important is that they feel a part of this, rather than it being imposed onto them as something they ‘have’ to do. Then just—back off a little. Seriously.
Don’t put pressure on your kid to smile or behave perfectly. Let them wear what feels good. If there’s a favorite toy, blanket, or outfit? Bring it. That kind of comfort makes a big difference, especially for neurodivergent kids.
And don’t worry if they get dirty or silly or wild. That’s the good stuff. That’s the stuff you’ll actually want to remember.
Q: Are there any questions you wish parents would ask you beforehand?
Meredith:
In my client intake forms, I always include a spot that says, “Is there anything else I should know?” If there are sensory needs, communication styles, emotional triggers—anything—it helps me show up better for your kid.
It’s super important for them to know they don’t have to be anyone other than who they are. Kids don’t have to perform or ‘please’ or ‘be on their best behavior’. I want them to feel free kist being in the moment, having a great time just being theirselves. I want to create a space where they feel safe and seen and supported.
That said, little tender things like a mom instinctively fixing their kid’s hair? Bring it. Details like that are gold. It’s real. It’s love. It’s awesome.
Q: Has working with neurodivergent kids changed how you approach photography in general?
Meredith:
Totally. I remember going with one family to a sensory-focused show. A kid nearby had a meltdown and you could feel every adult in the room tense up—and then, all at once, relax. It was like, “Right, we’re safe here. We don’t have to apologize.”
That’s what I want all my sessions to feel like. No pressure. No shame. No performance. Just safety and connection.
Q: Do you have a favorite photo or moment from one of those sessions?
Meredith:
I love every time when kids connect with me, when they’re fully themselves and we can just play and get silly and get lost in the moment.
The best compliment I ever got? It was from a kid I’ve photographed since infancy. His parents announced “Come on, just the adults now,” and the kid said, “WAIT! Meredith’s not an adult—she’s one of us.” That was amazing. I love it when they think I’m one of them. I suppose I am still at heart.
Q: What advice would you give to other photographers who want to work with neurodivergent kids or families?
Meredith:
Honestly, kids are kids. People are people. So many people don’t even know they’re neurodivergent. It’s not like anyone comes with special instructions. No matter what, always come in with an open heart. Be ready to connect. Don’t have a plan you’re attached to—just follow the kid’s lead.
Some kids need time. Some need quiet. Some are obsessed with grass or music or animal figures— let them explore that. Meet them there.
Let go of your agenda and be present. If you do that, fully and with your heart, they’ll let you in—and you’ll get something truly special.